Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
