I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
