I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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