never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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