I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize
