If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
