So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize