Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
