She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize