I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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