I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
