Kiss
Puke
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
His nipple licking is glorious
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