he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
