don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
