dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
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