look no pants
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
