actually, I'm a sock model
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
