VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
