I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
