you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
