I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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