Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
