..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
