Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize