she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
