I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
