He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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