At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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