I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
