If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
