If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
