summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
