my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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