ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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