I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
