we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
