so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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