Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
This girl is more easily done than said...
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize