so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
