If that was your dad, he is hot
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
Randomize
