Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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