This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
