I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
