Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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