you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
