just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
