idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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