Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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