Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Who died my cat blue again?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
