I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
