Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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