Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
