Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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