so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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