She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
