How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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