So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
How naked do you want me to be?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
