i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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