Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
do nipples grow back?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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