i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
