i just had sex bonerless
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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