hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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