i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
